Some news just whacks you in the face and sends you wondering about it more. Some news comes slowly, silently, seems harmless in the beginning but may actually kill you bit by bit.
In my case, I'm being whacked in the face down the dark alley and when they stop, I start thinking. Why? When? How?
WHAT?!
But right now, it's a little bit of the other one as well. I've been hoping for this piece of news, not as harmless, but I was hoping it could make a change in me. It did, it still does change me, and I'm being killed and torn apart little by little every second I face it.
Sorry, I think I'm pretty emo now.
Please, Ying Shan, don't think too much. Just listen to what your friends are saying to you : Don't think too much. No one is worth all these.
I often just overthink things too much then I get myself real emotional and I lose my interest in doing something. I was supposed to post something nice for today's post, but I suddenly stopped processing information up there. Interest go down down down. Stop thinking too much.
Stop thinking too much.
I don't know if anyone still reads this blog. It's dead. I just came back to pour out my feelings and cry. gg I'm so emo right now.
Coming is a monologue. If you don't want to discover how emo I am and how much self pity I feel for myself, then please, exit now. Seriously. Exit now.
Monologue :
Maybe I should just close my eyes and sleep until you die. I wouldn't have to see your face again, now would I? I bet, if I just shut and lock myself in my own world, I would be peaceful and quiet, I wouldn't feel any hurt or pain. I wouldn't have to see your despicable feats.
But no, I can't just do that. It's really just impossible. Everything around me reminds me of you. I try to forget it, but I just can't. But, if I can't do that, I hope you die.
29.10.10
Mom, I'm so sorry I lost the phone you bought me. But you want to know how fast thieves are these days? They are so fast. omg.
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I went to the toilet, and the most stupid move I made today was leaving it on the platform, you know those boards beside the toilet seats. Yes, I stupidly left it there. When I went out of the toilet, I totally forgot to bring it with me.
Until I almost went down the elevator, I suddenly remembered I didn't have my phone with me. So, I ran, I literally ran like the wind - to the toilet to check. The toilet was packed! So I couldn't tell who had stolen my phone. It was gone. :( I tried calling it with a friend's phone, and that theif stole it already.
All this happened in not more than five minutes.
I don't know who even reads this blog anymore. I know, it's super boring.
Did you know I'm writing a novel? Seems to be working well.
You know something, I hate love. It makes your heart go mushy mushy and the next thing you know you just want to sleep for the whole day and never wake up anymore. Yep, that's what I'm feeling. And the worse part is, I know we'll never work out. But the good thing to that is that I know I can get over it easily because I can't have anymore fat hopes for it to happen.
What am I saying?
Hmm.
Ying Shan, do you act that way to your normal guy friends? I don't think so. Go conk your head with a piece of wood, won't you?
I turn fourteen today. It's 14th September. I honestly thought no one would wish me on Facebook because I didn't put notify others, but they wished me anyway.
thank you for the wishes!
yay I'm fourteen. a few hundred years to go and I'm dead.
Commonly known for being under the sea in its whole lifespan, did you know that the whale isn't a fish but a mammal? And so is the dolphin.
Did you know that a koala 'bear' isn't really a bear? It looks like a bear, but is really not one. It's actually a marsupial.
Awesome facts, aren't these? There are facts you need to know about me :
1. I have a hard time getting over people. It usually takes around a year.
2. I'm the last child in my family.
3. I like to write novels though I haven't really finished one (or gotten halfway thru).
4. I dislike narcissism. Doesn't make you a person.
5. I save the Earth. Go green, man. It's COOL.
(: I'm changing. Metamorphosis. yea.
Happy Merdeka! It's the 31st of August! Malaysia turns 53 todayy =) despite the fact that 16th Sept is really Malaysia Day cos Sabah and Sarawak joined the cool gang! :P but well it's Independance Day! The day on which we're celebrating the 53rd freedom from the outer people invading Malaysia.
In school, we celebrated on the 30th because
a)We knew we had no chance of celebrating Merdeka on the day itself - public holiday;
b)_________________________________
Anyway, I was deeply moved knowing what terrible suffering the older generation had to go through, I am very interested in the fight for Merdekaness. :P
Thank you, dear ol' generation.
Thank you, dear valued and honoured leaders of Malaysia.
Thank you, dear soldiers and people who fought for Malaysia.
These three groups of people made our lives much easier to live - that is, if you reside in Malaysia. :P
Eh Malaysia really boleh!
Where's the old you? Did she vanish into thin air already? Did the new form take over so quickly? Just by mingling with other people who aren't right for you?
You're a shapeshifter. You speak differently. You walk differently. You sing differently. You're just different. I don't even know who you are anymore.
More lies, more fake stories. Is that your trick? The other people might be more gullible, but I'm not. I know the old you. I don't like the new you. I'm sorry.
God bleessss you!
I've been arguing too much with a girl. And as a result, I feel like vomiting. You know why? Because I feel nauseous whenever I argue or fight with someone - it's an uneasy feeling. It probably describes my ability to finally lash out on someone I've been grudging on. But, God, I'm sorry. I know, sinful! D:
But I really need Your help and guidance, Lord. I pray that I'll be able to humble myself for the future. I know that I'm a glowing light, an ambassador for You and I should be projecting what it's like to be Your child. I'm sorry.
